el fin

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

and then it hit me...

I have come to realize that people around the world are essentially the same. Granted we live different lives, have different traditions and may dress differently. So sometimes it's hard for me to really grasp that I am outside of my 'home' country. The past two summers, I have spent time in the beautiful countries of Ukraine and Hungary. I remember feeling comfortable the first time I went, but last summer I remember a distinct moment where everything felt normal. I no longer noticed the little differences. This place looked and felt as normal and comfortable as when I would drive down my street in Iowa. It was a moment that I will always remember. I can't wait to go back. Booking my ticket is the first thing on my "to-do" list.

I don't know what happened this time, but I spent the first few weeks here so out of my comfort zone. Everything was hard. I reacted in ways unlike myself and I didn't feel "at home" here. Then student teaching picked up and things got busy. I slowly started forgetting that I felt uncomfortable because I was so wrapped up in the moment. There was stuff to do and I would come home exhausted every night and go to bed. There was no time to think. This week, I have only been teaching half time and I have allowed myself the time to think. Think about life. Think about Nicaragua. Think about students. Think about myself. And then it hit me. I have little more then a week here. A week from Monday I will be back in the States. The thought filled me with sorrow and a little bit of regret (not to mention, I stopped breathing for a few seconds when I realized it). I'm not ready to go back! Somewhere in the hustle and bustle of life stuff became "normal"- I adjusted and people turned from teachers/principals/co-workers into friends. I can't tell you the specific moment, but it happened and that's what matters. This place has become like another home to me, and I'm not ready to leave it. I have learned so much, shed so many tears and spent so many frustrating nights here- but I have also laughed, giggled and felt so much joy that it is hard to imagine. Nicaragua, I WILL miss you.

And now, I am sitting in the back of my classroom trying not to cry...so I should stop writing:)

voices from heaven

I walked in today on the first grade practicing for chapel. 20 little voices were praising our Lord and Savior. I about cried. In case you need a reminder of Who we serve, here is the song they were singing....

Happy (almost) Friday everyone! I'm bringing chocolate to my classes tomorrow to celebrate:)

I don't know/No se/Nem tudom/Je ne sais pas...

Okay, so I have a little confession to make- I had a hard time adjusting to life here for the first few weeks. It was a struggle and I still have mixed feelings about Nicaragua. Please hear me out- I love love LOVE NCA. I have been so blessed and I think Nicaragua is a beautiful country. But I have spent the past few weeks trying to picture myself here more then two months and I haven't been able to do it...until today.

One of the classes I teach is High School ESL. There are two girls in it and I love spending time with them and learning about their lives. It is a high light in my day. They are curious about me as well and have spent the last few days asking questions about my life, my family and how I like Nicaragua. Today, one of the girls asked me how long I was going to be here for. I told her until the end of the month. "Where will you go after that?" "Iowa." "Oh, then when do WE get you back?" I froze. She looked up at me, her eyes full of hope. I couldn't simply say "never" and leave it at that...so I mumbled something like "Well, I'm not sure if this is where God wants me." (what a dumb answer...I would have never bought such baloney when I was in high school)It didn't phase this girl, she immediately launched into an explanation of everyone she knew who said that...and then stayed. The funny thing, is that two hours ago I received an email asking for applications because most of the elementary is leaving next year. That email immediately flashed before my mind. I quickly pushed it out...I don't want to be here for more then two months. I miss my family, I miss Ukraine and I need money!

Fast forward two hours. I mentioned the above conversation to my co-operating teacher. Her response- "You need to be praying about that! There are so many job openings for next year!" Not what I was expecting. All I can say is that- Nicaragua- you are growing on me...God's in control of the rest and I trusting that He will let me know one way or another...